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Name: elroy
Country: United States
State: Hawaii
Birthday: 6/10/1982
Gender: Male
Interests: offending people... real bad... because they can't admit they're wrong and i'm insurmountably right.
Expertise: offending people... real bad... because they can't admit they're wrong and i'm insurmountably right.
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/5/2003
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| BLASHPEMOUS DOPE EATING BITCH
So, I'm finally updating this shit. Sorry about the delay but I was busy not really giving a shit.
I'm to report to sensitivity training if I want my comics up again, so I guess I'll do that. Actually, I think I might enjoy this soft-ass, pussy-ass, lame-ass training shit. I'm sure I could get great material from it for future comics (Diane Dimassa used PC training and drug rehab to make Hothead Paisan). In fact, I should act extra-insensitive to the trainer and then-- miraculously-- become sensitive like an infected dickhole, so they feel, like, really good about themselves.
Problem is, it would be a waste of their time. I know how to act in front of people, the comics page should not be the place to look for morale and political correctness, and I don't see anyone complaining to Chris Jones' bitchity ass about the way he acts in public.
Actually, though, I feel kind of bad for that guy. I mean, from what I've heard about him, he always gets into arguments with people. Even people I talked to who are part of Power 96 (sounds like a country radio station) say that they can't stand the way he acts. I even heard he was fucking berating this dude who was half-white-half-black. It's like the guy has no friends. | | |
| STOP SUCKING THE PROFESSOR'S DICK
Hey, this is for all of you college students:
STOP SUCKING THE PROFESSOR'S DICK!!
You assholes are always interupting class to compliment the guy on his shit. STOP THAT!! If you wanna do that, do it after class on your own time. The rest of us are trying to earn our tuition, asshole!! Fucking shit, man!!
Oh, and while we're talking about people that interupt class...
STOP MAKING INANE, DICKBRAIN COMMENTS DURING CLASS!!
I used to do this, and now that I realize that this is irritating to others, I beat the shit out of me whenever I feel it coming on. I can't stand it when some assmunch gets up and proclaims some stance or position on a topic... during a lecture hall.
SIT THE FUCK DOWN!! Nobody paid to hear your fucking asshole-with-teeth-you-call-a-mouth talk. FUCK!!
Its always some lame bullshit too, like, "Well, even if that may be, I think blah blah blah." I'm gonna start bringing my knife to class.
Shit, I could probably queef a better statement than them.
SHIT!!
FUCK!! | | |
| FRANK CHO SUCKS
I'm not really one who should rip on other cartoonists, but I've checked out LIBERTY MEADOWS and that thing kind of sucks my ass.
Dude, all it is is gloss. Cho's got great line-work, but so did Todd MacFarlane, and SPAWN also sucked my ass. In fact, SPAWN and LIBERTY MEADOWS both suck so hard, if you shot water into my asshole, and put the comics against it, you could give me a colonic.
Not like my strip is any better, by the way, but I bring this up because Cho talks shit about other artists. The guy had the berry-balls to call McGruder racist and offensive... while Cho is always looking for new tit-angles. Dude, but McGruder's funny. Even if he was racist, at least he'd be a funny racist... if he was racist.
But, to be fair, there's a lot of shit-to-print out there, so I shouldn't really pick on Cho. Like, at least he doesn't blow himself like MALLARD FILMORE does. Dude, right-wing writers really REALLY know how to make a shitty comic, don't they?
That was a really nerdy entry, wasn't it? Fuck. | | |
| HERE'S ONE FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY
There once was an old couple who lived on a farm. They were a normal couple... except for one thing:
The husband-- Bill-- had an over active bowel and would fart endlessly. Farted in bed, farted in the shower, farted in the field, farted in the supermarket, and farted in church.
The wife-- Mary-- soon got sick of all that farting, because she knew that Bill was starting to do it on purpose. She'd seen him stuffing himself with beans.
So, Mary confronted Bill and told him, "You fart so much, I hope one day you fart your guts out."
Bill replied with a slow and low POOOOOOOOOOOOT.
So, one morning, Mary got up early to do some farm work. Right on time, the first thing she heard was Bill farting.
Mary went down to slaughter some chickens for lunch. While gutting them, she heard Bill farting in his sleep... all the way across the farm. Mary looked at the chicken guts and a sharp grin crawled across her face.
Mary got a pail full of chicken guts and put it in bed with the sleeping, farting Bill. She then crept downstairs and poured herself some cereal.
Not long after, Mary heard a bloody-murder scream from upstairs. A few minutes later, Bill came down, his hands all bloody, his face white as a sheet.
"Bill," Mary said, acting concerned, "You look like you've seen a ghost. What happened?"
"Mary," Bill said, "You were right. Oh God, you were right. I farted my guts out."
"Oh," Mary said, trying not to laugh.
"But, thank God-- and these two fingers-- I shoved it all back in."
Talk amongst yourselves. | | |
| And, while I'm dreaming...
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